I promised pics

Devin is a little shitter! I keep hearing he is pretty alert for his age....he still sleeps a whole lot too though. I am so obsessed, I can't even get anything done. I just want to hold him and be with him all the time! I can't imagine leaving the house. Is that unhealthy? Cuddling with him is my fav!

I am slowly losing the pregnancy weight. I still could pass as being pregnant. Since I had a c-section a dwas on IV, I actually gained a lot more water weight. I was so swollen for a few days that I had no knees, no ankles, I looked awful. I still weigh too much, and I can blame myself for my constant eating of sweets at the end. BUT it's only been a week and it will come off. I am just so excited for everything in store for me! I am going to turn into "one of those people" who only talk about their kids on facebook....I apologize in advance.

I am soooo in love

I was nervous I'd be a bad mom, or get stressed cuz I wouldn't know what the hell I was doing, or feel weird talking to him...but really I am doing just fine and I am so in love with him, it's incredible. I just stare at him or pictures I have of him and kiss his tiny face all the time. He makes so many ugly faces that I just LOVE. His yawns, his sneezes ahhhh! I just feel so happy! It's a wonderful feeling and I am so excited for the future. I'll post a lot of pics tomorrow!

Devin's Birth Story

I went into labor and delivery at 10 pm on Wednesday night, they put in the cervadil around midnight and the next morning at 9 started the pitocin. When I came in I had already been contracting but didn't even know it. The pitocin on the other hand was awful. Around 2 oclock I was dilated to 2 and the doctor told me she felt his hair and wanted to ahead and break my water. When she came in I had been grabbing the handrail from how bad the contractions were and she asked my why I didn't want the epidural and I thought it was too early, she told me it wasn't and it doesn't run out and I knew I would be in for it when they broke my water so I opted for the epi.

Two anesthesiologists had to try a total of 3 times to get it right because apparently, I have scoliosis. I was TERRIFIED of the epidural because anything spine related freaks me out. It hurt, but it wasn't terrible. They kept saying I was a great patient. After I was nice and numb, the contractions didn't really hurt me anymore. I just hated not being able to eat anything all day!! Just popsicles and ice chips over and over.

Eventually, it was 7:45 and and the doc said she'd come back around 10. Around 9 I had THE WORST stabbing pain in my back on one side and I could feel the contractions by my ribs, so no matter how I laid, I was in sever pain, I was crying it hurt so bad, and I have a high pain tolerance. So then they gave me more epidrual medicine and said that if it didn't get better they would re-do it. At this point I broke down because I was just so numb and scared I wouldn't be able to push, I didn't want them to redo the epidural, I was just scared and I started crying.

At 10, my doctor came in and she said I hadn't progressed and the babies heart rate was getting high, and my cervix was swollen and I should consider a c-section. I knew she was right and even though I knew it could happen, I just didn't really think it would happen to me and I was just so dissapointed I wouldn't be able to have him naturally. I cried a lot and Michael cried cuz I was and it was just sad. But going to the OR, I became scared and they had to put me down cuz I felt them cutting into me...So, I woke up in a recovery room not even knowing I had been put down and when they woke me up they told me Devin was beautiful and weighed 7lb 11oz. I got to meet him shortly after. His apgar scores were both 9, which is WONDERFUL!

Feeding has been going ok, I have been leaking since 21 weeks but don't have a lot of colostrum right now, the pediatrician said its normal. Devin is wonderful and doesn't cry a lot, hes my beautiful angel and though it doesn't feel like I'm a mom yet, I am so in love with him and Michael and just so thankful!

Last day of being pregnant.

I am 41 weeks tomorrow. I last went in Monday with no progression, maybe more effacement and that's it, no dilation. So, I got put on the next available for the hospitals list to get induced. I could have waited longer but I can barely walk when I get up at first, my SI joint is messed up, my groin muscle, random contractions, belly stretched to the max, big baby...I figure if I keep going with no progression and might need to get induced anyway or worse (c-section) I might as well do it.

So it's 5 o'clock p.m., and I have 5 more hours until I am due to the at the hospital. Tonight they aren't' doing much but it is a full moon, maybe it will allow me to have natural labor. Tomorrow they will do the pitocin and hopefully by tomorrow night he will be here, on Michael's birthday :)

I have so many strange feelings as the time as getting closer. I feel scared of course, excited, I feel like he's not even mine it's been so long! I'm so curious as to what he looks like. I just can't believe I am going to be a mom, I guess that part doesn't seem real to me for some reason. No words can describe how I feel...

So wit that being said, I am going to post my last pregnant pictures and just say, I can't wait to fall in love in a way I never have before! Thanks to all who have supported me all the way :)