I promised pics

Devin is a little shitter! I keep hearing he is pretty alert for his age....he still sleeps a whole lot too though. I am so obsessed, I can't even get anything done. I just want to hold him and be with him all the time! I can't imagine leaving the house. Is that unhealthy? Cuddling with him is my fav!

I am slowly losing the pregnancy weight. I still could pass as being pregnant. Since I had a c-section a dwas on IV, I actually gained a lot more water weight. I was so swollen for a few days that I had no knees, no ankles, I looked awful. I still weigh too much, and I can blame myself for my constant eating of sweets at the end. BUT it's only been a week and it will come off. I am just so excited for everything in store for me! I am going to turn into "one of those people" who only talk about their kids on facebook....I apologize in advance.

I am soooo in love

I was nervous I'd be a bad mom, or get stressed cuz I wouldn't know what the hell I was doing, or feel weird talking to him...but really I am doing just fine and I am so in love with him, it's incredible. I just stare at him or pictures I have of him and kiss his tiny face all the time. He makes so many ugly faces that I just LOVE. His yawns, his sneezes ahhhh! I just feel so happy! It's a wonderful feeling and I am so excited for the future. I'll post a lot of pics tomorrow!

Devin's Birth Story

I went into labor and delivery at 10 pm on Wednesday night, they put in the cervadil around midnight and the next morning at 9 started the pitocin. When I came in I had already been contracting but didn't even know it. The pitocin on the other hand was awful. Around 2 oclock I was dilated to 2 and the doctor told me she felt his hair and wanted to ahead and break my water. When she came in I had been grabbing the handrail from how bad the contractions were and she asked my why I didn't want the epidural and I thought it was too early, she told me it wasn't and it doesn't run out and I knew I would be in for it when they broke my water so I opted for the epi.

Two anesthesiologists had to try a total of 3 times to get it right because apparently, I have scoliosis. I was TERRIFIED of the epidural because anything spine related freaks me out. It hurt, but it wasn't terrible. They kept saying I was a great patient. After I was nice and numb, the contractions didn't really hurt me anymore. I just hated not being able to eat anything all day!! Just popsicles and ice chips over and over.

Eventually, it was 7:45 and and the doc said she'd come back around 10. Around 9 I had THE WORST stabbing pain in my back on one side and I could feel the contractions by my ribs, so no matter how I laid, I was in sever pain, I was crying it hurt so bad, and I have a high pain tolerance. So then they gave me more epidrual medicine and said that if it didn't get better they would re-do it. At this point I broke down because I was just so numb and scared I wouldn't be able to push, I didn't want them to redo the epidural, I was just scared and I started crying.

At 10, my doctor came in and she said I hadn't progressed and the babies heart rate was getting high, and my cervix was swollen and I should consider a c-section. I knew she was right and even though I knew it could happen, I just didn't really think it would happen to me and I was just so dissapointed I wouldn't be able to have him naturally. I cried a lot and Michael cried cuz I was and it was just sad. But going to the OR, I became scared and they had to put me down cuz I felt them cutting into me...So, I woke up in a recovery room not even knowing I had been put down and when they woke me up they told me Devin was beautiful and weighed 7lb 11oz. I got to meet him shortly after. His apgar scores were both 9, which is WONDERFUL!

Feeding has been going ok, I have been leaking since 21 weeks but don't have a lot of colostrum right now, the pediatrician said its normal. Devin is wonderful and doesn't cry a lot, hes my beautiful angel and though it doesn't feel like I'm a mom yet, I am so in love with him and Michael and just so thankful!

Last day of being pregnant.

I am 41 weeks tomorrow. I last went in Monday with no progression, maybe more effacement and that's it, no dilation. So, I got put on the next available for the hospitals list to get induced. I could have waited longer but I can barely walk when I get up at first, my SI joint is messed up, my groin muscle, random contractions, belly stretched to the max, big baby...I figure if I keep going with no progression and might need to get induced anyway or worse (c-section) I might as well do it.

So it's 5 o'clock p.m., and I have 5 more hours until I am due to the at the hospital. Tonight they aren't' doing much but it is a full moon, maybe it will allow me to have natural labor. Tomorrow they will do the pitocin and hopefully by tomorrow night he will be here, on Michael's birthday :)

I have so many strange feelings as the time as getting closer. I feel scared of course, excited, I feel like he's not even mine it's been so long! I'm so curious as to what he looks like. I just can't believe I am going to be a mom, I guess that part doesn't seem real to me for some reason. No words can describe how I feel...

So wit that being said, I am going to post my last pregnant pictures and just say, I can't wait to fall in love in a way I never have before! Thanks to all who have supported me all the way :)

Doctors official due date is today

Happy estimated due date to me :( Wednesday I had no progress, maybe a little more effaced and that's it. The doc said hopefully he'll see me this weekend and if not, we will discuss induction on Monday. Monday I don't see him though, I see another doc so maybe I will tell her "he said we would schedule the date today" in case she tries not to or something! I am getting more and more stretch marks, and my groin muscle and SI joint AND KNEES are all getting worse by the day. I walked a lot yesterday and it was kind of hard! My feet hurt so bad so quick, but I was a trooper and I think I walked for a couple hours.

I am truly scared of being induced but at the same time it's almost as if there is no little Devin in me....it almost still doesn't feel real that I'll ever meet him.

At least I had thanksgiving as my last few days to be a fatty and enjoy eating A LOT :)

Hospital Trip

I had the worst pains in my tummy Thursday night, but with accompanied gas, I thought that's all it was. I kept ignoring it, tried to sleep, finally woke up and tried to hold out for another hour and was like "Michael, I really don't think its contractions but whatever it is, I have to find out, we gotta go." So I called the OB, they told me to go in and the whole time I just felt so dumb, like they were gonna send me away and be like its nothing. Finally she put monitors on me and came back 20 mins later and said I was contracting every 2-4 minutes. I was so suprised, and it hit me and I was like damn, I am not ready for this. Lol. They sent me to walk for an hour and come back to see if I have dilated (since I hand't) and sure enough, I still didnt :( So i got sent home. She said she thinks within a week at the most.

I had them all yesterday, along with my doctors visit and he told me I was 75% effaced, so something is slowly happening. I had contractions yesterday through out the day and not really feeling anything today :(

I just keep seeing baby pictures and now I am impatient again!

Anyway, it was false/early labor, they said it can last days and it will be painful. The nurse said it probably won't stop.....come on Devin!

This is how I know my face is fat.

It's not puffing up when I puff it up :( Lol, can't wait for that to go away!

P.S. I swear I am not doing a half ass puff.

COME ON BABY!

This waiting part has to be the worst part. You get tired of the "no baby yet?" questions, the "enjoy this and that while you can," and all the other stuff. I just want to meet him! I have plenty of things I can be doing like homework and little things around the house, but I am getting tired of that.

There are things you can do to induce labor, like walking, sex, exercise ball, eating spicy foods...plenty of myths, none of them are working. I even walked on the treadmill last night for a half an hour!

p.s. treadmills suck and make you feel dizzy when you get off of them, I much prefer the elliptical.

38 weeks...

At my appt. I asked them to check me and sure enough, I am not dilated AT ALL...when I really thought I would be :( I have been having cramping since saturday. This doesn't necessarily mean anything, you can go from 0-10 in a day, but no matter what anyone says, I think that's rare. It is more common for people to be like 2 cm dilated for several weeks (which I'm sure sucks too). Oh well. Maybe he will be a Sagittarius after all! I am getting more and more uncomfortable though, so send labor vibes my way!

Woe is me

So, I was supposed to get approx. $1200 from my 401k from my old job, filled out all the paper work, was excited...sort of relying on that money, and yesterday I asked what was going on and the plan administrator (boss's wife) said oh, you had 0% vested and weren't with the company for two years so you can't withdraw it. I was 2 months short of 2 years, and I asked since it was my bonus money from xmas, was there anything I could do? She basically wrote back no, good luck with the baby, aka shut up and stop writing me. It put me in a really, really bad mood. I think we'll be ok, but when you are looking forward to that much money that SHOULD be yours, it's a big disappointment.

Another money woe, I can't find like 100 something cash that I had from gifts and stuff. Mike thinks I lost it (and isn't mad) but I just don't know what happened to it and I'm really upset about it. Imagine trying your hardest to think of something and you just have no idea what you last did with it, no matter how hard you think or look for it. It's really frustrating. I hope it comes around...

So for these two reasons that surfaced yesterday, I have been in a terrible mood today.

Tomorrow I go to the doc and Mike is off. They will check me to see if I am dilated and all that scary stuff. So, we'll see.

Officially (at least) 37 weeks

I made two plaques next to his name for the baby room. I drew and painted the wooden blocks and drew an elephant on it. It doesn't look amazing or anything, but I like it and am proud. I had never done anything like that before. Can't wait to paint with him when he's old enough!

Anyway, here are some pics. The first is me at 37 weeks, the second is my fat/round face last weekend, and the third is the elephant.

Oh yeah! And I start my maternity leave tomorrow at 2!! wooohooo!

We are thankful

I know my old blog was all complaining, but there isn't a day where I don't remind myself and Michal that we are so blessed, loved, and lucky. We have so much support and people have helped us so much. We're thankful to everyone and whatever higher power :)

Michael's family did a bet where everyone picked a day baby would come, I picked my going into labor tonight because it's a full moon. I'm not counting on it...

Slowly, the room is coming together. I shortened my hours and have plenty of time to organize and rest now. Here are pictures of the room, it's simple and not yet complete but I love it.

Sooo hungry

I am always hungry. I wake up in the middle of the night hungry. I thought this was supposed to be the time when you are so full of baby that you can't eat a lot. My face is soooo fat I can't even stand it. I know it comes with the package and it'll be worth it in the end and hopefully I'll lose it and this and that, but i really HATE it in the meantime! I think if I had longer hair I wouldn't mind as much. Enough of my complaining...

The doc said the head is down, baby is big. I feel pressure, meaning I think he dropped.

I'm still not nervous or worried. The only thing I am worried about is that I will have no motivation to clean up and move around, making me a bad mom. Its just saturday mornings I literally sit around till 2 or later and can't make myself do shit. I just feel soooo weak and tired and I'm not even busy! I think its this whole iron thing....so hopefully I will be better after baby comes.

Almost there?

Michaels family made a bet on the date, via email and everyones putting down $5. The pot is at like $85. I said November 3rd, because the 2nd is the night of a full moon and they say that bring babies. That would put me at 2 weeks early. I sorta feel like I won't get that lucky, I guess my heart wasn't in the guess but everyone had picked a date already and maybe its wishful thinking. I really cannot wait to meet him though!

According to the sono, today I would 36 weeks, meaning he could be born today and fine! I told my work that November 6th will be my last day. I am starting less hours this week, only about 4 hours less a week.

In other news, I got a 4 door car (2004 Inifniti i35, 83k miles) fully loaded, its beautiful! It has so many ritzy things I'd never care about in a car, but it's beautiful, drives well, and was a GREAT deal. I am getting the car seat properly installed sometime this week. Can't wait!

I was stressing about this week because I have a million tests and homework things to do, but I am in a better mood. I have so much to be thankful for...great family and friends, materilaistic things that I don't care that much about but I might as well appreciate, it's fall, and best of all, my sweet sweet boy is coming to this world soon! I'm still not scared :)

Things to do still:
-wash all the clothes and blankets
-pack the hospital bag!
-wash the sheets
-better organize the room/decorate
-get breast pump

picture (36w[sono] OR 35w3d):

It's not easy....

being fat and short :(

Maternity Photos!

Thanks to Ruthie-Poo, who came down from NY to attend my baby shower and take photos, I have some maternity photos. These are the ones I liked.

34w2d

For a week I have been feeling quite awful. Very, very tired. I know it's normal for the third tri, but it hit at once. I had already started taking the iron pills, but noticed that my heart was palpitating extra, I would get up or move a little and my heart would beat all hard. I was like damn, I know I'm out of shape but am I that out of shape? I couldn't breathe as well. I had an appt. thursday but by wednesday I was worried so I called the advice line to ask if I could get my thyroid checked at my next appt. They called back and said it's my iron and my blood cell count is very low, and they will do a test at the next appt.

So I go and I tell the doctor (not the one who told me my iron was low) my symptoms, and she says it's all normal for where I'm at at pregnancy. It really pissed me off, I mean, how do you not even ask how many palpitations I might be having given my family history? How an you brush it off? So I said, ok well you guys said you'd do a test. She said she didn't really think I needed it, and I just stared at her. So finally she said ok we'll do it.

Low and behold, I feel like fuck the next day, I can barely get out of bed, I am just so exhausted. I called into work saying I was having cramps (which I was) and I wanted to rest a but but I'd still go in. When I slowly start to get ready, my OB calls me and says my iron is very low and I need to rest. THANKS BITCH I TOLD YOU SO. They want to retest me Monday. It's still going to be low and I wonder what they'll do. It's saturday morning and I just have no energy to do shit, and I'm getting depressed cuz I feel like I have so much I want to do.

It's getting cloooseerrr

I am starting to get more and more excited and I can't wait! I still feel like I have an awful lot to do:
-still better organize the room
-wash the clothes and sheets and stuff
-get a 4 door car, make frozen meals
-install a car seat
-do a couple school projects ahead of time

who knows what else. I REALLY hope i do the whole crazy nesting thing. Some people scrub their ovens and shit, I hope to god that will be me!

Ruth hasn't sent me any pics from the photoshoot, but a preview. Please keep in mind they are supposed to be artsy, and we had nowhere to shoot them :) Also, I am photoshopped! Here is one:

My chunky chunks!

I had a sonogram done today, 32w6d, but he measured 33w3d, putting him at a due date of november 22. They said he is 4 lbs 12 oz, and face down! I think its normal for them to be face down at this point though. I have a feeling he will be due Nov 2....still making him a scorpio ;)

My last doctors visit they said my iron was low, so I just started taking more iron today. I didn't feel bad, but lately I have been getting out of breath and my head pounds easily when I move and get tired, my lips looked blue the other day (but now I think its just the lighting), so I decided I'll take the iron. I just really didn't feel like more constipation. I have my next follow up appt. next week and we'll see what they tell me from the ultrasound, prob nothing special.

My baby shower this weekend was great, I had a lot fun and got lots of stuff! I also got to do my maternity pics (thanks to Ruth).

I have been sick since last friday though, and its mostly my sinuses and it sucks. I can't smell or taste anything, which sucks I didn't get to enjoy my cake as much as I would have normally!

Anyway, here is the pic of my chunky chunks, I think he looks beaauiitffulll and I can't wait to meet him!!!

Fat Face

I officially have a fat face. Happy 32 weeks to me! Baby could be born in 4 weeks and be completely healthy! :)

Why couldn't my fat face wait one more weekend? I am excited about my baby shower this weekend.

My birthing class is scaring the shit out of me. I never really thought about it too much before, but now I am forced to! Ahhhh!