I promised pics

Devin is a little shitter! I keep hearing he is pretty alert for his age....he still sleeps a whole lot too though. I am so obsessed, I can't even get anything done. I just want to hold him and be with him all the time! I can't imagine leaving the house. Is that unhealthy? Cuddling with him is my fav!

I am slowly losing the pregnancy weight. I still could pass as being pregnant. Since I had a c-section a dwas on IV, I actually gained a lot more water weight. I was so swollen for a few days that I had no knees, no ankles, I looked awful. I still weigh too much, and I can blame myself for my constant eating of sweets at the end. BUT it's only been a week and it will come off. I am just so excited for everything in store for me! I am going to turn into "one of those people" who only talk about their kids on facebook....I apologize in advance.

I am soooo in love

I was nervous I'd be a bad mom, or get stressed cuz I wouldn't know what the hell I was doing, or feel weird talking to him...but really I am doing just fine and I am so in love with him, it's incredible. I just stare at him or pictures I have of him and kiss his tiny face all the time. He makes so many ugly faces that I just LOVE. His yawns, his sneezes ahhhh! I just feel so happy! It's a wonderful feeling and I am so excited for the future. I'll post a lot of pics tomorrow!

Devin's Birth Story

I went into labor and delivery at 10 pm on Wednesday night, they put in the cervadil around midnight and the next morning at 9 started the pitocin. When I came in I had already been contracting but didn't even know it. The pitocin on the other hand was awful. Around 2 oclock I was dilated to 2 and the doctor told me she felt his hair and wanted to ahead and break my water. When she came in I had been grabbing the handrail from how bad the contractions were and she asked my why I didn't want the epidural and I thought it was too early, she told me it wasn't and it doesn't run out and I knew I would be in for it when they broke my water so I opted for the epi.

Two anesthesiologists had to try a total of 3 times to get it right because apparently, I have scoliosis. I was TERRIFIED of the epidural because anything spine related freaks me out. It hurt, but it wasn't terrible. They kept saying I was a great patient. After I was nice and numb, the contractions didn't really hurt me anymore. I just hated not being able to eat anything all day!! Just popsicles and ice chips over and over.

Eventually, it was 7:45 and and the doc said she'd come back around 10. Around 9 I had THE WORST stabbing pain in my back on one side and I could feel the contractions by my ribs, so no matter how I laid, I was in sever pain, I was crying it hurt so bad, and I have a high pain tolerance. So then they gave me more epidrual medicine and said that if it didn't get better they would re-do it. At this point I broke down because I was just so numb and scared I wouldn't be able to push, I didn't want them to redo the epidural, I was just scared and I started crying.

At 10, my doctor came in and she said I hadn't progressed and the babies heart rate was getting high, and my cervix was swollen and I should consider a c-section. I knew she was right and even though I knew it could happen, I just didn't really think it would happen to me and I was just so dissapointed I wouldn't be able to have him naturally. I cried a lot and Michael cried cuz I was and it was just sad. But going to the OR, I became scared and they had to put me down cuz I felt them cutting into me...So, I woke up in a recovery room not even knowing I had been put down and when they woke me up they told me Devin was beautiful and weighed 7lb 11oz. I got to meet him shortly after. His apgar scores were both 9, which is WONDERFUL!

Feeding has been going ok, I have been leaking since 21 weeks but don't have a lot of colostrum right now, the pediatrician said its normal. Devin is wonderful and doesn't cry a lot, hes my beautiful angel and though it doesn't feel like I'm a mom yet, I am so in love with him and Michael and just so thankful!

Last day of being pregnant.

I am 41 weeks tomorrow. I last went in Monday with no progression, maybe more effacement and that's it, no dilation. So, I got put on the next available for the hospitals list to get induced. I could have waited longer but I can barely walk when I get up at first, my SI joint is messed up, my groin muscle, random contractions, belly stretched to the max, big baby...I figure if I keep going with no progression and might need to get induced anyway or worse (c-section) I might as well do it.

So it's 5 o'clock p.m., and I have 5 more hours until I am due to the at the hospital. Tonight they aren't' doing much but it is a full moon, maybe it will allow me to have natural labor. Tomorrow they will do the pitocin and hopefully by tomorrow night he will be here, on Michael's birthday :)

I have so many strange feelings as the time as getting closer. I feel scared of course, excited, I feel like he's not even mine it's been so long! I'm so curious as to what he looks like. I just can't believe I am going to be a mom, I guess that part doesn't seem real to me for some reason. No words can describe how I feel...

So wit that being said, I am going to post my last pregnant pictures and just say, I can't wait to fall in love in a way I never have before! Thanks to all who have supported me all the way :)

Doctors official due date is today

Happy estimated due date to me :( Wednesday I had no progress, maybe a little more effaced and that's it. The doc said hopefully he'll see me this weekend and if not, we will discuss induction on Monday. Monday I don't see him though, I see another doc so maybe I will tell her "he said we would schedule the date today" in case she tries not to or something! I am getting more and more stretch marks, and my groin muscle and SI joint AND KNEES are all getting worse by the day. I walked a lot yesterday and it was kind of hard! My feet hurt so bad so quick, but I was a trooper and I think I walked for a couple hours.

I am truly scared of being induced but at the same time it's almost as if there is no little Devin in me....it almost still doesn't feel real that I'll ever meet him.

At least I had thanksgiving as my last few days to be a fatty and enjoy eating A LOT :)

Hospital Trip

I had the worst pains in my tummy Thursday night, but with accompanied gas, I thought that's all it was. I kept ignoring it, tried to sleep, finally woke up and tried to hold out for another hour and was like "Michael, I really don't think its contractions but whatever it is, I have to find out, we gotta go." So I called the OB, they told me to go in and the whole time I just felt so dumb, like they were gonna send me away and be like its nothing. Finally she put monitors on me and came back 20 mins later and said I was contracting every 2-4 minutes. I was so suprised, and it hit me and I was like damn, I am not ready for this. Lol. They sent me to walk for an hour and come back to see if I have dilated (since I hand't) and sure enough, I still didnt :( So i got sent home. She said she thinks within a week at the most.

I had them all yesterday, along with my doctors visit and he told me I was 75% effaced, so something is slowly happening. I had contractions yesterday through out the day and not really feeling anything today :(

I just keep seeing baby pictures and now I am impatient again!

Anyway, it was false/early labor, they said it can last days and it will be painful. The nurse said it probably won't stop.....come on Devin!

This is how I know my face is fat.

It's not puffing up when I puff it up :( Lol, can't wait for that to go away!

P.S. I swear I am not doing a half ass puff.